I have had the benefit of some truly amazing women walk in and out of my life, each playing a bigger role than they could possibly know. From my 3 aunts - Dalene, Joan and Barbara who took me in when I ran away from home, to my crazy Irish 'Mum' Ettie Carroll who was the first person I had a conversation with when I moved to London 19 years ago and have been stuck to ever since, to my cousins Tracey, Kim and Leigh who are my close friends as well as my cousins and my best friend (though we have grown distant of late) Amile. But without doubt the top spot is occupied by my beloved Granny - Wilhelmina Frantzina Voget Brint a real lady of great measure. To others she was scary and strict, aloof - cold even, she didn't mince her words and could silence anyone with a look that she used regularly, but to me she was only to be hugged and cuddled and loved all of which I did in abundance and she loved me right back.
She and I had a special bond that I have since found neither my brothers nor my cousins had, and sadly I never knew it till she was long gone or I would have treasured those moments and savoured them more than I did. I would have taken more mental notes and snapped more mental pictures, hugged her more, I would have told her every day how much I loved her - that she was everything to me and no-one would ever take her place.
We never disagreed - I would never dream of doing anything that would displease or upset her. She was not a warm or affectionate woman by nature, yet all I can remember of her is her hugs and the smell of her hairspray (she used a brand called Fiesta) that lingered long after she left a room or clung to my clothing long after our embrace had ended.
She called me 'Professor' and always addressed me that way in letters and cards, she said life had great things in store for me, she believed in me like no-one else. She always told me how wonderful she thought I was and how much my love and affection meant to her, I thought she was like this to everyone - it turns out she wasn't. I truly was blessed to always have gotten the best of her, I now know that there isn't another soul who could say the same, she was magnificent to me.
Most of our relationship was unspoken - we often didn't need to talk, she 'got' me, she 'knew' me. These are not things Rhodesian women were prone to at those times when children were to be seen and not heard, but she did. I knew I was loved - what a gift and a blessing.
Sadly when she got old and frail, I wasn't there to hug and love her like she would have wanted. I didn't get to whisper how much I adored her in her ear as she would have loved or rub her feet or her back like she would have needed. But she knew she was loved - what a gift and a blessing.
Not a day ever passes when I don't think of her and miss her.
Frankie Brint - a lady who was loved.
